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the most buzzed about superbowl ad this year seems to be google’s “parisian love” ad – the three-month old superbowl ad that wasn’t made as a superbowl ad, and just one of the many spots in google’s search stories youtube series. take a look:

but if you thought that was good, then try this: the ad google should have run:

much better than that stupid love story, right?

but trust me: you need to learn how to make space invaders cookies.

interesting fact: being number one isn’t really something that you need to prove. you can just claim it! and if you’re chegg.com, an online textbook rental company, you can sue your rival for using the phrase “#1 in textbook rentals” because you’ve trademarked it back in 2008! sure, there may be absolutely no financial statements to back up these assertions. so we can all be #1! isn’t that dishonest exciting?

i’ve never liked ashton kutcher. i find him utterly intolerable. it’s one of the reasons i hated saturday night live this week. but that’s not to say that there still weren’t funny moments here and there. it just means that none of those moments actually included ashton kutcher. take a look at the five skits worth watching from snl and you’ll see what i mean.

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hulu’s got them all waiting for you. start with the betty white one!

for the record, i got this from roger ebert’s twitter page. wtf!

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yet i totally appreciate aes for sending it along.

that’s right. it’s a book holder. for your bike.

though, i guess i could put my ipad on there…

… should you be worried?

according the the american kennel club, yorkies are the most popular pure breed pooch in new york city. that’s my baby up there – peanut – showing you all just why she’s the best bitch around.

i want i want i want!

Thousands of people are hurt each year in violent attacks where broken beer glasses are used as weapons. Could two new pint glass designs be the answer?

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exhibit a

exhibit b

i don’t even know what the show is but those to photos are eerily similar, no?

it’s been all over the blogs, but i don’t care – pee wee’s sendup of the ipad is perfect.

so the oscar nominations came out yesterday! and you’ve totally already seen them by now. but it took me a long time to write all this shit out, so here you go.

best picture:
avatar
the blind side
district 9
an education
the hurt locker
inglorious bastards
precious
a serious man
up
up in the air

best director:
kathryn bigelow – the hurt locker
james cameron – avatar
lee daniels – precious
jason reitman – up in the air
quentin tarantino – inglourious basterds

best actor:
jeff bridges – crazy heart
george clooney – up in the air
colin firth – a single man
morgan freeman – invictus
jeremy renner – the hurt locker

best actress:
sandra bullock – the blind side
helen mirren – the last station
carey mulligan – an education
gabourey sidibe – precious
meryl streep – julie and julia

best supporting actress:
penelope cruz – nine
vera fermega – up in the air
maggie gyllenhall – crazy heart
anna kendrick – up in the air
mo’nique – precious

best supporting actor:
matt damon – invictus
woody harrelson – the messenger
christopher plummer – the last station
stanley tucci – the lovely bones
cristoph waltz – inglourious basterds

best original screenplay:
mark boal – the hurt locker
ethan and joel coen – a serious man
pete docter and bob peterson – up
alessandro camon and oren moverman – the messenger
quentin tarantino – inglorious basterds

best adapted screenplay:
neil blomkamp and terri tatchell – district 9
nick hornby – an education
jesse armstrong, simon blackwell, and armando lannucci – in the loop
geoffrey fletcher – precious
jason reitman and sheldon turner – up in the air

best documentary feature:
burma vj
the cove
food, inc.
the most dangerous man in america: daniel ellsberg and the pentagon papers
which way home

best documentary short:
china’s unnatural disaster: the tears of sichuan province
the last campaign of governor booth gardner
the last truck: closing of a gm plant
music by prudence
rabbit à la berlin

best foreign-language film:
ajami
el secretos de sus ojos
the milk of sorrow
un prophete
the white ribbon

best animated film:
coraline
fantastic mr. fox
the princess and the frog
the secret of kells
up

best original song:
“almost there” – the princess and the frog
“down in new orleans” – the princess and the frog
“loin de paname” – paris 36
“take it all” – nine
“the weary kind” (theme from crazy heart) – crazy heart

the rest of the technical nominees are after the jump!

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the 2010 bet honors aired on monday night, honoring the achievements of sean combs, queen latifah, and one ms. whitney houston, among others. performances were pretty amazing through and through (you can’t really go wrong with stevie wonder, patti labelle, mary j. blige, and india arie, among others). but it was jennifer hudson who really stole the show. her version of “i will always love you” – whitney’s signature cover of the beautiful dolly parton track – was the highlight of the night, and just might have been (dare i say it) better than whitney’s version. take a look:

isn’t it nice to see jennifer singing the classics? it brings me back to her days of idol. i half expected simon to pop out of somewhere to tell her how tough it must have been to take on a whitney classic, but what a great job she did. i mean, this would have certainly been one of his “absolutely brilliant – the best performance of the night for me, by far” moments, don’t ya think?

my favorite moment has to be around the 3:55 mark, where whitney, who’s been cheering jennifer on / taunting her from the aisles, seems to completely loose it. am i the only one who wants to see these two women go at it in a vocal steel cage death match?

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oh, i should say, there’s another option for you if you want to get ready for tonight’s premiere: a new episode of totally lost!

‘Totally Lost’: Our season premiere will get you ready for theirs!

i can’t believe it’s finally here: the premiere of the last season of lost. to celebrate this momentous occasion, you have a few choices here folks:

1. you can watch the first four minutes of tonight’s premiere here and ruin it for everyone else in your lost pool.
2. you can watch the entire first episode of tonight’s premiere here and watch idol tonight instead.
3. you can watch a scene from the series premiere of the show (remember that?) that supposedly will help you understand something about something here.
4. you can book a flight on oceanic 815.
5. you can study the lost subway map and see if that provides any clues.
6. you can read a bundle of theories here and try and figure it out for yourself.

or

7. you can wait until tonight like the rest of us!

yeah, you’ll probably choose #7. it’s well worth the wait!

in the meantime, you should DEFINITELY watch this amazing video of the oceanic flight 815 crash in real time, a la 24. it’s pretty mind blowing.

anyone else excited for tonight? i just can’t wait ’til the show is over so i can buy the really expensive box set and start watching the series over again!

it was a complex weekend for the gays, filled with plenty of ups and downs. on one side, we made it onto eharmony! on the other, cbs banned a gay superbowl ad. but the one victory that we can probably hold on to: we ripped apart a bitch who wanted to use us to be our friend.

here’s the quick backstory. breeder mom wendy atterberry posted an article on the frisky, asking for a gay best friend. in fact, the question she asked specifically was, what does a girl have to do to get a gay best friend around here? well guess what atterberry? the gays responded! and it wasn’t great. in fact, eliot glazer flat out said i don’t want to be your token gay. and gawker proposed a contract for the gay guy /straight girl friendship. see gays! we can win the weekend after all!

who knew it was that easy?

designers and enviornmental lovers tom wrigglesworth and matt robinson measured ink usage with common typefaces, in an effort to find the most efficient typography. the result?

garramond!

anyone who knows me should know that i have some serious opinions about sweatpants. mainly, i hate them. sure, i throw a good pair of sweats on from time to time. but it’s all within the confides of my own home. the problem with sweatpants? they give people a false sense of comfort. like it’s okay to wear them outside. don’t laugh – i see it all the time. and it’s not. funny. don’t believe me? check out these fucking pajama jeans. that’s right. pajama. jeans. they’re goddamn sweatpants in the shape of jeans. because “your jeans look good, but they’re not comfy, and sweats are comfy but not stylish.” if this is problem in your life, you need to kill yourself right now. honestly. if you don’t know how to be an adult and put on some fucking pants, then you should just end your life. and by god, if i see anyone i know wearing something like this, i will never talk to you again. i’m telling you – i am a spiteful bitch.

i don’t think much about the snuggie either, if you’re curious. but i’ll allow it because people aren’t trying to wear that shit on the way to work.

these.

are.

adorable.

buy ‘em here!

anytime bravo teams up with somebody to offer something exclusive, i need to join.

so many eye rolls, so little time.

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missed the grammys last night? don’t worry – ninedaves has got you covered! here’s the top 5 performances from last night’s show. watch ‘em know before youtube pulls ‘em down!

1. pink – “glitter in the air”
pink didn’t win any awards on camera during the telcast, but she did win the award for best performance of the night by swinging around on a piece of cloth, dripping wet, and singing live the whole way through. fearless and fantastic. major props.

2. green day ft. the cast of american idiot – “21 guns”
the producers of american idiot must be shitting their pants right now. it’s not often you see the cast of an unopened broadway show performing with a major band on the biggest night in music. this is a huge deal, and a beautiful performance.

3. beyonce’ – “if i were a boy / you oughta know”
sure, miss b has performed this number a few times before (considering she did this all summer long on her tour). but that didn’t mean it wasn’t entertaining. although, minus points for not inviting alanis along with you.

4. bon jovi ft. jennifer nettles – “we weren’t born to follow | who says you can’t go home | livin’ on a prayer”
i’m probably going to get shit for putting them on the top 5 list. but it’s bon jovi’s first performance on the grammys. don’t you think they deserve some love? bravo to them for a great performance, and for staying true to themselves and true to their fans.

5. celine dion, usher, carrie underwood, smokey robinson, jennifer hudson, – “michael jackson tribute: earth song”
it probably wasn’t the 5th best performance of the night. but for sheer star power alone, it needs to be mentioned. plus, you can’t beat this moment:

last night’s grammy awards were damn entertaining (although, honestly, probably less for the quality of the show and more for the twitter play by play i was involved in). regardless, beyoncé took home a total of 6 awards last night, but only one in the big four major categories. here are those winners, plus a link where you can find the others!

record of the year
“halo” – beyoncé
“i gotta feeling” – the black eyed peas
“use somebody” – kings of leon
“poker face – lady gaga
“you belong with me” – taylor swift

album of the year
i am…sasha fierce – beyoncé
the e.n.d. – the black eyed peas
the fame – lady gaga
big whiskey and the groogrux king – the dave matthews band
fearless – taylor swift

song of the year
“poker face” – lady gaga & redone
“pretty wings” – hod david & musze
“single ladies (put a ring on it)” – thaddis harrell, beyoncé knowles, terius nash & christopher stewart
“use somebody” – caleb followill, jared followill, matthew followill & nathan followill
“you belong with me” – liz rose & taylor swift

best new artist
zac brown band
keri hilson
mgmt
silversun pickups
the ting tings

best musical show album
ain’t misbehavin’
hair
9 to 5 the musical
shrek the musical
west side story

for the rest of the winners (all 1,000 of them), head over here!