ninedaves.com

waaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllltttttttttttt!!!!

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if you haven’t heard by now, conan o’brien, contractually forbidden by nbc from appearing on television until the beginning of september, will embark on a 30 city tour throughout the united states and canada. the legally prohibited from being funny on television tour kicks off in april, and tickets are basically sold out across the country. you can go here for more information.

but before you do, let’s just get something straight: the conan o’brien tour was my idea.

let’s look back at a tweet i sent out at 11:45pm on january 21st

okay, so i wasn’t exactly right. but the idea was there. i asked broadway and off broadway producer ken davenport to do a 12-week run on broadway. conan decided to do a 12-week tour across the country. kind of similar, right?

stroke my ego here, will ya?

and yes, i do notice that i wrote “you move” rather than “your move.” twitter needs an edit feature.

AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 PLATES
bravo has a new reality show on the way called around the world in 80 plates about a bunch of chefs traveling around the world to work in famous restaurants

COMMANDER IN CHEF
another bravo food reality show that sounds like top chef only in front of a live audience. why does bravo keep trying to fuck up their franchises?

DAISY OF LOVE
umm… rock of love 2 and daisy of love star daisy de la hoya was dating corey haim when he died. ew.

DANCING WITH THE STARS
shit. samantha harris may come back next season. say it ain’t so!

FASHION MASTERS
another bravo fashion reality show on the way that will probably not be as good as project runway once was.

THE FASHION SHOW
speaking of bad bravo fashion reality shows, the fashion show is coming back for a second season.

HIGH SOCIETY
miss the show? here’s an amazing recap. oh and here too!

HITMAKERS
bravo is taking their first stab at singing competitions. hitmakers will follow songwriters, however, as they compete to have their winning song performed by a top musical artist. no word on who the artist is, but i’m putting money on natasha bedingfield.

JERSEY SHORE
hey guidos and guidettes – want to rent the jersey shore house? it’s fucking expensive.

KIRSTIE ALLEY’S BIG LIFE
i don’t really care if this is true or not, i believe it. kirstie alley’s show is a scientology scam.

MIA MICHAELS
bravo has given the so you think you can dance star her own show!

MIAMI SOCIAL CLUB
no, it’s not miami social. it’s miami social club – a new bravo reality show that i don’t care about that follows socialites in miami. the real housewives of miami would be better.

THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER
guess what? on the fourth season of the millionaire matchmaker , patti is changing it up, and coming to new york! i can’t wait!

MILLION DOLLAR DECORATORS
a new bravo show about, well, million dollar decorators.

MILLION DOLLAR LISTING
renewed!

PREGNANT IN HEELS
apparently there’s a woman named rosie pope who has started her own maternity line, and now bravo has given her a reality show with a stupid fucking name.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA
renewed!

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS
those of you who thought the real housewives of washington, d.c. would be the next show in the franchise, you’re wrong. beverly hills is where andy cohen will host his next reunion special.

TABATHA’S SALON TAKEOVER
renewed! although the press release says tabatha’s salon makeover!

TOP CHEF
rumor has it the show’s seventh season will be filmed in washington, dc. so maybe the housewives were just chefs?

THE TOURNAMENT
long gone are the days of flavor flav searching for love on tv. instead, vh1 is turning to a bachelor who’s a little bit… marketable. like chad ochocino, the cincinnati bengals player set to compete on dancing with the stars this season. after that, he’ll star in the tournament, a bracket-dating show from the same producers of the of love shows. ridiculous!

UNDERCOVER BOSS
is anyone surprised that the show got picked up for a second season?

UNTITLED BOOK PUBLISHING REALITY SHOW
would you watch a reality show searching for the next great book publishing editor? i bet these people hope you will!

wow. that’s some serious rhyming.

jude law hosted this week’s episode of saturday night live. and minus a random vicky christina barcelona skit that seemed like it was two years too late, it was a damn entertaining episode. here’s the top 5 skits you’ll need to see to catch up.

michael slezak is having a hard time embracing idol this season. i can relate considering i still haven’t watched the past five episodes. but look – idolatry!

‘Idolatry’: Surviving Alex, Lilly, and Katelyn’s ousters; searching for hope in Idol’s ninth season

file this under “posts i never got to while i was sick a few weeks back.” but when the second all-star version of “we are the world” came out, i had to ask myself: of all the charity songs, which one’s the best? i mean, we’ve seen them time and time again. so let’s take a look, and you can let me know which one you like best. sound good?

“come together”

“come together now”

“do they know it’s christmas?”

“i put a spell on you”

“just stand up”

“somos el mundo”

“what’s going on”

“what more can i give?”

“we are the world”

“we are the world 2.0″

my favorite? um… don’t judge, k? i really like that “come together now” song! i know it’s filled with christian artists, but i can’t help but kind of fall for them. the song is damn catchy!

but that’s just me – what do you think?

have you seen this advertisement for the new a&e reality show kirstie alley’s big life? (if you live in new york, it’s currently plastered on every street corner.) anyway, is it just me, or does kirstie alley look like nicollette sheridan? i swear, i can’t tell you how many times i’ve given it a double take. am i all alone here?

OPENINGS AND CLOSINGS

- next fall had their official opening. [more info]

- as did looped. [more info]

- lend me a tenor began performances. [more info]

- as did million dollar quartet. [more info]

UPCOMING SHOWS

- a time to kill is heading to the stage. [more info]

- unchain my heart, the ray charles musical will play broadway in november. somewhere, toni braxton is pissed she just lost the name of her musical. [more info]

- an officer and a gentleman musical is on the way. [more info]

CASTINGS

- amy morton and tracy letts starring in who’s afraid of virginia woolf. in chicago, of course.! [more info]

- evan rachel wood has dropped out of spider-man. [more info]

- that gay guy who won the amazing race and dated lance bass is going into off-broadway’s my big gay italian wedding. [more info]

- rumor has it ricky martin will be joining the evita revivial. [more info]

- the toronto production of rock of ages has a full cast. [more info]

- the amazing sarah paulson and linda lavin are working together in collected stories. [more info]

GOSSIP

- kelsey grammer will split both georges and albin in la cage. he’ll do six months as one, six as the other. [more info]

- cirque du soleils banana shpeel has delayed again. april 29th opening now! [more info]

- kristin chenoweth and sean hayes are on the cover of time out new york. [more info]

- the scottsboro boys has already extended. [more info]

- love never dies didn’t get a great review from the times. [more info]

- fans probably agree. [more info]

- but don’t worry – it can be revised. [more info]

- jeff daniels talks his role change in god of carnage. [more info]

- carrie fisher and her wishful drinking producer aren’t the best of friends. [more info]

- christopher walken is crazy. [more info]

- like. really really crazy. [more info]

- this is why celebrities present broadway shows. [more info]

- and why elton john produced next fall without ever seeing it. [more info]

- don’t expect to see god of carnage on tour. [more info]

- deconstructing the public: a ton of celebrities take a sledge hammer to the theater. [more info]

- the equity tour of spring awakening is closing, but there will be a non equity tour. [more info]

- 12 hours of theater for $225. [more info]

SOLO SHOWS AND BENEFITS

- broadway bares xx: strip-opoly has a director: josh rhodes. [more info]

- here’s a great play by play of the kander/ebb tribute. [more info]

LONDON

- the london revival of all my sons has more cast members. [more info]

- john malkovich is coming to the london stage. [more info]

PHOTOS AND MEDIA

- fraiser and lilith are reunited and it feels so good. [more info]

- mo rocca really loved our town. [more info]

- opening night at love never dies. [more info]

- a vip party for next fall. [more info]

- and an opening night party for next fall. [more info]

- take a look at judith ivey in the glass menagerie. [more info]

- check out opening night shots of the scottsboro boys. [more info]

- and some shots of all about me. [more info]

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think making a book cover is as easy as finding the right image? it’s not. take a look at the design process in motion:

michael musto has been riding his bike for 25 years. here’s what he thinks about it.

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From: BMurphy
To: NineDaves
Date: Wed, Mar 10, 2010 at 4:56 PM
Subject: I Believe That Children Are The Future

I mean, they are literally, I suppose. But anyway, cute kid does something cute upon meeting a “husband and husband”

Would that my grandparents could be so chill. “Husbands and husbands? Oh, that’s different. Would you like a Werther’s Original?”

i am a huge fan of rich from fourfour, one of the best blogs out there on the internet. such a fan, in fact, that one day i saw him on the subway and completely panicked. like, we’re talking no words can come out of my mouth, completely quiet and nervous, paralyzing fear. i still consider it one of my best celebrity sightings in the city (and let’s not forget, i met ted mosby).

anyhow, a perfect example of why i love rich: he posted about a video about “cured” homosexuals, and did it with such respect, humor, and poise. it’s a great post from a talented writer. perfect opportunity for a re-post!

Pure Camp

The irony of this 700 Club segment on the “downlow ‘lifestyle’” (“”"”"”) I caught randomly (and wonderfully) last night, is that with its hokey reenactments and fake tears, it helps to be gay to appreciate it:

I’m of two minds regarding the ex-gay thing. Because I believe that no one is a better expert on my emotions than I am, it seems hypocritical to turn around and tell someone that what he’s saying he feels is not what he actually feels. Being “cured” of homosexuality flies in the face of what I consider to be innate and acceptable (Whoooo! I don’t need no cure! I don’t need no cure!), on top of it supporting the ludicrous “choice” argument made by the hateful and unsympathetic (homosexuality is a choice in the same way that going out to get food so that you don’t starve is a choice), but if Tony Spears wants to put on broad, five-minute theater to convince us he’s banging chicks now, well, whatever! I love the ultimate implication that you can be cured of desire, but that the gay sensibility is resistant to prayer. Reassuring!

Maybe if the way to “cure” homosexuality is through prayer, the way to cure homophobia is through laughter. I’m so sick of being depressed by shit that it’s worth a try. Also, someone brings up a great point in the YouTube comments of this video (of all places!): “What a joke!! Downlow means NOBODY KNOWS !!!!! and that means NOBODY!!!! The fact that he is doing drag in his earlier years (with his family seeing him and calling him Tonette) and ppl at school are calling him gay clarifies him as NOT BEING ON THE DOWNLOW!!!!!!!!!!” Not that I’d expect Pat Robertson to be anything but naked with his ignorance.

tc sent me along this event:

Teen Witch Sing-Along
Fri, Mar 26, 2010 11:00pm
92nd Street Y Tribecca

A Teen Witch sing-along? Top that! As a tribute to the recently departed Zelda Rubinstein Poltergeist we present this fantasy-comedy of a girl who uses her bewitching powers to become the most Popular Girl. Louise Miller Robyn Lively yearns to be noticed by her high schools football captain but she is just too geeky to catch his eye. When Louise visits Madame Serena Rubinstein she learns that she was a witch in her past life and soon those powers return to her. But should she be using her talent for more than just giving her friend the ability to win a rap battle? For our screening we use our powers to give the whole audience the chance to freestyle and sing out!

$13 ticket includes one beer.

who’s with me!?

lost is so confusing!

it takes a chorus of rowdy soccer players in a puma ad to make me remember how much i used to love “truly, madly, deeply.” oh the interweb…

this is real and it comes out june 1. i’m uncomfortable!

not as good as the betty white commercial but still pretty damn funny. well done, snickers. well done.

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there are 22 trailers waiting for you to watch them – and this time, i’m putting them in alphabetical order, starting with after.life. enjoy 21 more after the jump!

after.life

Read the rest of this entry »

new zealand’s billboard for hbo’s hung makes me uncomfortable!

just like before…

“save it patty hearst. i’m not buying any stockholm syndrome today, thank you”

check out the behind the scenes story here.

i mean, the girl got her ass kicked by her mother. and if you saw the movie, you’ll know how things end. does she really need this shit from howard stern?

then again… maybe he’s right? after all, will she ever be seen as anyone besides precious? i mean, are there a lot of roles for overweight black girls in hollywood that aren’t being taken up by jennifer hudson or queen latifah? gabby’s incredibly talented, but her physical appearance is limiting. there’s not a lot of versatility there. perhaps howard is right. i don’t know – i’m torn. she’s so nice!

what do you think? did howard cross the line?

don’t judge me!

look at this lineup!

beth orton. cat power. chantal kreviazuk. colbie caillat. corinne bailey rae. emmylou harris. erykah badu. gossip. heart. indigo girls. jill scott. kelly clarkson. loretta lynn. martina mcbride. mary j. blige. metric. norah jones. sara barailles. sarah mclachlan. sheryl crow. sugarland. suzanne vega. tegan and sara. the bangles. the go-go’s.

and that’s just now. imagine the more acts that will join in the weeks to come.

yes. i realize it’s a gay cliche. but i’m fucking going.

[via rob huebel]

AMERICAN CHOPPER
did you know the show ended?

AMERICAN IDOL
i’ve been skipping out on american idol this season (boooring!), but here’s some gossip. the cast was allowed to have official twitter and facebook accounts, and now they’re not allowed. yawn. oh, some cast members put videos up on youtube, but they got in trouble. snore. will young’s “leave right now” will be the new idol exit song. zzzz. tim urban from the apprentice is really pissed off at tim urban from idol. (crickets). ellen degeneres has vowed to get one of the idols who didn’t make it to hollywood week a record deal. let’s see. what else. oh! remember chikezie? well he was busted for identity theft. that’s exciting, right?

THE BACHELOR
some dude got married and no one watched.

DANCING WITH THE STARS
brook burke is your new co-host.

DATING IN THE DARK
there’ll be a second season.

DOLPHIN WARRIORS
so what happens when you win an oscar for best documentary? well, if you’re the cove, you decide to turn the movie into an unscripted animal planet series called dolphin warriors.

KRISTY ALLEY’S BIG LIFE
if you didn’t know it, kristy alley gained a lot of weight. like, a lot of weigh. okay, she’s fat. and now she’s got a reality show that premiere’s on a&e on march 21. if you can make it through the whole thing, i give you tons of credit.

JESSICA SIMPSON’S THE PRICE OF BEAUTY
guess what? you can watch a super long trailer for jessica simpson’s new show before you watch it air on vh1 over and over and over again.

PROJECT RUNWAY
have you seen the shots from the project runway fashion week show yet?

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA
wow. it seems like just yesterday kim zolciak was dating a woman. oh wait. it was. well, she’s not now, thank you very much. she’s still dating big pappa. you can take a deep sign of relief.

SHAQ VS.
you’re getting a second season.

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